Letting you guys into my world a little bit more…
Living with a mental illness isn’t something that’s easy, but it’s also something that you can’t let take over your entire life. Up until the past two months, I had been struggling so much with my own personal issues; some that I had secluded and put aside without fully taking care of them, and others that I was battling daily.
While curing a mental illness isn’t something that I believe is true, I do believe that we can all find things that work for us that help create a safer and more peaceful life for each and every one of us that battles things aloud, or silently. I know that I will live with my struggles forever, but I can’t allow them to define me as a person or how I live my life. Of course I have to protect myself from certain situations, places, and people so I don’t jeopardize my mental health even more, but I won’t allow it to take over my life like I have in the past.
I have shared things from my life, things that might seem too much for others to do themselves, but I actually am a very private person and don’t share as much as people think I do. I’m very careful with what I let others see and know about me and my life, and I think learning how to master that has been something that’s really helpful when coping and dealing with certain things. I’ve learned that acting like everything is okay on social media and in real life actually makes things worse, you end up living a lie and are afraid to open up about certain things because you’re scared of being judged by others.
Instead of worrying about what others online will think of you, take a step back and remember that you and your mental health are way more important than the opinions of strangers or people you know online. I stressed about the amount of followers and likes I had for so long that it literally drove me crazy. Looking back at that, I think “what in the world was I doing stressing about stupid shit like that?” There are much more important things to worry about; myself being the biggest importance.
I started seeing a therapist again and I truly think that has helped me get back on the right path of life because I have someone I can talk to that won’t judge me, but instead help me. On top of the things my therapist and other doctors have taught/told me, I’ve also been doing so much more to try and make mental health better than ever.
Doing things like reading self-help books, going for walks with my dog, swimming in my pool, meditating, dancing, working out, talking in online support groups, and now leaving the house more have all helped me SO much. Two months or so ago, I couldn’t even leave my house or drive without wanting to cry because I was just so anxious about leaving home, my safe haven, and going out into the world. I felt alone, helpless, and like a joke.
Once I finally learned how to deal with these issues at hand, I started doing more and realized how strong I actually was. I have had many mental health “relapses,” if you will, but I really feel like my life is slowly coming together and I am finding peace within myself that I didn’t know I had. While I don’t think I will fully ever “recover” from what I live with, I do think that I can learn to live a life without having to struggle every single day like I have before.
I still have days where I’m anxious to go out of the house or drive or something like that, but I’m nowhere near as struggling as I was before. Once I found the things that worked best for me and my mental health, that’s when I started to live. I want any person out there that might be struggling or dealing with things they are scared to talk about or deal with at hand, to know that you aren’t alone.
There are so many people out there that live with illnesses like you and I, and there’s nothing wrong with any of us for being who we are and living with what we live with. We are all stronger than we think and deserve to be happy, healthy, and live a life we are excited and passionate about. Don’t ever let anyone take your shine away from you and remember, you are never alone.